Saturday, February 28, 2009
Why is 0.25mg of alprazolam enough to make me a little bit confused? I can't trust myself with this...I need to focus, it's so early I was so tired, the cappuchino is too sweet, I'm in a photoshop class, helping a midle-aged woman who i'm slightly attracted too, i'm conflicted. Today is the last day to apply to my safe-school, I hope I can do this, I need to give them my high school transcripts, that's gonna be a bitch. I can't believe I waited so lnog. I can't jeopardize this, I'm overanalyzing my life right now, thsi would be my only way out of here, for me, my quest my journey, now there are other options but it's hard to get down to business, nto that i'm lazy, i forget to apprehend myself in my lethargy and sloth. Have not been able to assert myself enough to claim alone time for research and management of my university progress. I am dissapointed in myself but not all is lost. I can still apply to evergreen before the end of the night. Transcripts...this week, somehow. Fuck, high school shit. I don't want to be judged as I was then. but there is no other option, closure closed to be continued
Thursday, February 26, 2009
aristotle
Aristotle’s ideas of the city-state as a partnership begin with the sense of community. He deduces that every community is established in the aim of creating good, and these communities are composed of mankind, which always acts in order to obtain which they feel is good. He decides to break down the community of state into villages and households, to see the origin of the issue.
In the beginning he sees the union of male and female as the root of community and state, for their “good” is to continue the species via reproduction, and this forms a union or household. Groups of households become villages, and when “several villages are united in a single complete community, large enough to be nearly or quite self-sufficing, the state comes into existence”. These smaller groups band together for a greater good, and Aristotle sees this as self-sufficiency, whether it’s through trade or organized labor, it’s just seen as a natural thing because man is said to be a “political animal”. He proves his point by concluding that the individual, when isolated, cannot be self-sufficing, because he was meant to be a part of a whole.
I agree with everything Aristotle discussed in these passages, because I was previously aware that humans are social creatures, and that we need each other to thrive. Not to say that a man is useless alone, but it just further proves that the creation of villages, cities, and societies are part of a natural order of things, the same way that bees have hives and social ranks to serve the community, or how a pack of wolves operates. I found this reading interesting in that he was able to make such profound statements about the world even before any scientific or anthropological evidence was around to support it.
In the beginning he sees the union of male and female as the root of community and state, for their “good” is to continue the species via reproduction, and this forms a union or household. Groups of households become villages, and when “several villages are united in a single complete community, large enough to be nearly or quite self-sufficing, the state comes into existence”. These smaller groups band together for a greater good, and Aristotle sees this as self-sufficiency, whether it’s through trade or organized labor, it’s just seen as a natural thing because man is said to be a “political animal”. He proves his point by concluding that the individual, when isolated, cannot be self-sufficing, because he was meant to be a part of a whole.
I agree with everything Aristotle discussed in these passages, because I was previously aware that humans are social creatures, and that we need each other to thrive. Not to say that a man is useless alone, but it just further proves that the creation of villages, cities, and societies are part of a natural order of things, the same way that bees have hives and social ranks to serve the community, or how a pack of wolves operates. I found this reading interesting in that he was able to make such profound statements about the world even before any scientific or anthropological evidence was around to support it.
see date
One true sentence.
Hemingway says start with one true sentence.
Last night, my room, my sanctuary, my friendly gamer haven was broken into. Things were taken, the safety in its perimeter tarnished. The keyboard seemed so empty without the outdated, oversized Sony Viao laptop squeezed in. I was pointing toward it to show the officer, C said "Don't touch it Marc don't touch it" and I told him I was merely showing the officer what went on.
The officer was tall and I remember C inquiring him about some badges, "Did you get those in the military?" Under his uniform on one of his arms I could see some patriotic tattoo sticking out, and he was ready to answer any of my questions. I worried that he might think I had some ulterior motive, like I was too calm, I only had .25mg of xanax sublingually when I saw C. It helped.
When I first heard the news and got off the train I had to showcase my anger in some way. I threw my keys, broke a lanyard and whistle, kicked a signpost repeatedly until some people examined me and I stared right back. Ran to the other platform and shoved a shopping cart as hard as I could down the edge, but I was controlled enough to pick it back up, and moderated my actions to an extent to where I wouldn't get in trouble. I've never felt blinded by rage before, I don't know if I'm too in touch with my emotions or not enough, I don't even know how i felt when I first heard. I was calm first. I couldn't do anything. What kind of man would stand up and hit someone out of rage? I was more pissed at my father than anything, he said
-Marcus the neighbor told me about something that happened while we were out, some people went into the house with a bag, what game consoles did you have? I think those are gone, you said a PS3? Yeah I don't see that there either
he sounded so stupid and nonchalant I just wanted to slap him. maybe that was the manifestation of my anger. there were so many questions unanswered, so much investigation to be done, so much fear of the integrity in security around the room, so much hatred of the degenerate scumbags who could do anything so dirty and despicable
I KNOW my emotions. I have HATE. I have ANGER. and I want VENGEANCE. C says that if he knew the car, we wouldn't be filing a report and i support him 100%. normally I am reserved. that night I would bludgeon the man that did this with my frail jew arms to the best of my ability. it numbed me later somehow. later i felt desensitized. now I am waiting, because all that can be done is out of my hands outside of later questioning. all i can do is trust the city government's will, the police powers' stake in preserving the Integrity of the State and community, and myself to learn from this experience.
God bless you all. I am a victim.
Hemingway says start with one true sentence.
Last night, my room, my sanctuary, my friendly gamer haven was broken into. Things were taken, the safety in its perimeter tarnished. The keyboard seemed so empty without the outdated, oversized Sony Viao laptop squeezed in. I was pointing toward it to show the officer, C said "Don't touch it Marc don't touch it" and I told him I was merely showing the officer what went on.
The officer was tall and I remember C inquiring him about some badges, "Did you get those in the military?" Under his uniform on one of his arms I could see some patriotic tattoo sticking out, and he was ready to answer any of my questions. I worried that he might think I had some ulterior motive, like I was too calm, I only had .25mg of xanax sublingually when I saw C. It helped.
When I first heard the news and got off the train I had to showcase my anger in some way. I threw my keys, broke a lanyard and whistle, kicked a signpost repeatedly until some people examined me and I stared right back. Ran to the other platform and shoved a shopping cart as hard as I could down the edge, but I was controlled enough to pick it back up, and moderated my actions to an extent to where I wouldn't get in trouble. I've never felt blinded by rage before, I don't know if I'm too in touch with my emotions or not enough, I don't even know how i felt when I first heard. I was calm first. I couldn't do anything. What kind of man would stand up and hit someone out of rage? I was more pissed at my father than anything, he said
-Marcus the neighbor told me about something that happened while we were out, some people went into the house with a bag, what game consoles did you have? I think those are gone, you said a PS3? Yeah I don't see that there either
he sounded so stupid and nonchalant I just wanted to slap him. maybe that was the manifestation of my anger. there were so many questions unanswered, so much investigation to be done, so much fear of the integrity in security around the room, so much hatred of the degenerate scumbags who could do anything so dirty and despicable
I KNOW my emotions. I have HATE. I have ANGER. and I want VENGEANCE. C says that if he knew the car, we wouldn't be filing a report and i support him 100%. normally I am reserved. that night I would bludgeon the man that did this with my frail jew arms to the best of my ability. it numbed me later somehow. later i felt desensitized. now I am waiting, because all that can be done is out of my hands outside of later questioning. all i can do is trust the city government's will, the police powers' stake in preserving the Integrity of the State and community, and myself to learn from this experience.
God bless you all. I am a victim.
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